


i won't hurt you anymore

by ilomilo97



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Juliana centric, i just wanted to explore juliana's pain, i know everyone hates sergio, im sorry i did this, this could be a two-shot so stay tuned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-04-03 17:35:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21494356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilomilo97/pseuds/ilomilo97
Summary: She knows she did something terrible and now she doesn't know how to tell Valentina.
Relationships: Sergio/Juliana Valdés, Valentina Carvajal/Juliana Valdés
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	i won't hurt you anymore

**Author's Note:**

> sooo yeah, i wrote a sergio/juliana fic, i think it's the first of its kind and i'm aware why. i know we all kinda collectively hate sergio, but bear with me please. i wanted to delve into juliana's pain and regret. this may or may not be a two-shot, just because i hate the way i ended this and i feel like it needs more. let's see what else i can come up with. 
> 
> also, this was my first attempt at writing angst!!! i hated it!!!! :))))))))
> 
> as always, let me know what you think please

She knew it was wrong. 

From the moment she accepted Sergio’s invitation, Juliana knew it wasn’t gonna end up in something good. She felt it in her bones. The brunette just felt so much pain that she needed to take it out on someone. 

A bunch of thoughts were running through her mind while they were in his car on their way to an apartment Sergio got for her to stay for a while. When she thanked him she really wasn’t lying. Despite everything he’s done, this is something to be thankful for, but it has to be taken carefully. Juliana knew this. She knew this was one of the many ways this guy was using to manipulate her. The only difference is that today she didn’t care if she was being manipulated. She didn’t have the energy to fight him back. That’s why she agreed to come with him. A way to escape from everything was needed. At least for a moment. 

Before he mentioned it, Juliana noticed the brown paper bag he had taken out of the backseat. She knew he was carrying alcohol with him, just in case he got a chance. Very predictable of him at this point. But then again, she didn’t care. She was willing to drink with him just to get Valentina out of her head for a while. Honestly, it was getting overwhelming. Conversation was trivial, he was telling her about some mishap he had at the beach with some random girl. Honestly, she didn’t care much. She just nodded and laughed a little at the right times. Of course, he took this as a sign of approval and kept talking. He really thought she was paying attention to him. How adorable.

After a couple shots of mezcal, Juliana already could feel its effects on her bloodstream. Her thought process was slowing down and her vision was beginning to blurry. At some point they were sitting closer and when she turned her head to look at him, she realized he was already staring at her with lustful eyes. A very small part of her was screaming that she should stop this immediately, that this was wrong but another part of her (her drunk self) was just taking control of everything and doing what her body wanted. She just wanted someone. Anyone. To make her forget for a bit. 

Juliana didn’t think twice before grabbing him by his neck and crashing their lips together. This took Sergio by surprise. Surprising him in the best way possible. The kiss was quick, their teeth almost crashed. She was testing the waters. The look he had on his face when she pulled back was of complete astonishment that quickly turned to thrill. He couldn’t believe his luck. This was finally happening. She let him believe his fantasy, but in the morning she knew she was gonna bolt out of this place as fast as possible. They met halfway for another kiss and it was messy. They weren’t in sync and it felt very rushed, despite all this, the brunette didn’t care. The feeling of pressing her lips against someone else’s was enough for her. Her body was responding the same way. Of course, there wasn’t any passion or love in this act. She wasn’t looking for any of that right now. Regardless of how drunk she was, Juliana was aware of her surroundings and her actions. The position they were in was becoming somewhat uncomfortable and since she knew he wasn’t gonna do anything about it, she took matters into her own hands (figuratively and literally) and pushed him hard against the sofa so he could lay down, then she proceeded to sit on top of him, straddling his hips with her thighs. 

When she took his face in her hands and kissed him, she could feel a smile forming on his lips. Out of the two of them, it was obvious who was the one enjoying this the most. She took his hands and put them on her hips as she grinded on him, letting the friction do its desired effect on them. The alcohol made everything feel slower, but it was still nice. The only sound in the room was of their lips crashing against each other, the only time they separated was to take a breath. Suddenly, she pulled back a bit and sat up on him, the movement of her hips never stopping. She was feeling kinda of hot so, with her eyes closed so she wouldn’t look at him (because if she did, she would feel disgust), she took off her shirt and threw it to the side. He didn’t know how lucky he was, the view before him was only reserved to Valentina. Afterwards, he brought her back down and gave her a quick peck. She heard him whisper that they should take it to the bedroom and she just nodded. She was too lazy to move on her own, so she just hugged his neck and straddled his hips again, like a baby koala. He just laughed out loud at this and carried her to the bedroom. 

Everything was a blur after that. Juliana could only focus on her body and what she was feeling and didn’t care much about anything else. She tried to maintain her eyes closed for the most part, although it was near impossible because sometimes you really need to see what you’re doing in a context like this. Usually she’s not self-conscious about her body, but this time around she convinced him of keeping the lights down, just leaving on the lamp on the bedside. It hurt to give him her body like this, deep down she knew she didn’t want this despite her best efforts. She fell asleep when they finished. The alcohol taking over her again, she went to sleep with a headache. 

She really did that. Her first time with a guy went like this. She wasn’t very proud of herself, to be honest. She wasn’t proud at all. And what’s worse, she had this feeling in her gut that she betrayed Valentina, even though technically she didn’t. Did this work at getting the blonde out of her head? Well, kinda, for a moment at least. Did it work at helping her process her emotions? No, it only made her feel worse. Juliana doesn’t know how well Valentina would take this. 

Regret and disgust were the predominant emotions the brunette was feeling when she woke up in the morning. Her back was facing Sergio, but she knew he was awake. She felt like she was being selfish for having had done this. How could she? Now she felt way worse  _ and _ she was sober. This was terrible. She rolled her eyes internally when he started asking about last night, he wanted her to tell him that she liked it. Bad news for you, loverboy. She avoided the topic and expressed how she just wanted to leave (which was true). Sergio was a bit taken aback by this. 

“Are you sure? This place is all for you, you don’t have to leave.” she heard him say and to this, she turned on her back and faced the ceiling. A knot forming on her throat. 

“I just-” her throat betrayed her and her eyes were on the verge of tears, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. He doesn’t get to be a part of this. Although she knows Sergio has been an asshole to her in the past, Juliana felt that he didn’t deserve this. He was just at the wrong place, at the wrong time. This situation was between her and Valenting to fix. “I need to be alone.” was the last thing she said and surprisingly, he understood this. After a few minutes, he got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. When she was alone she let a few tears run down her cheeks. Letting herself feel the emotions she was bottling up last night. To distract herself, she looked to her left to see the cityline. The day was beautiful, not a single cloud in the sky and the sun was shining bright. The view clearly didn’t reflect how she felt on the inside. More than last night, she couldn’t stop thinking about the blonde. It would take her a while to get over this. Juliana just hopes she can forgive her. 

Sergio insisted on taking her home, but she refused. She said thanks, though. The guy just nodded silently and left. When she was alone, she let her emotions overcome her and cried even harder. She felt the tears running down her cheeks, blending with the water that was hitting her body on the shower. Juliana wished she could take time back. By the time she got out of the shower, her fingers looked like prunes. She looked at herself in the mirror and her eyes were a little puffy from crying. What a sight to see, she thought. Once again, she pushed her feelings aside and started to get ready. Even though she was heading home, she didn’t want anyone to see her and think she had been crying. She had to be strong. That’s the way she saw things.

On the bus, she made the decision not to tell Valentina. At least, not for now. She wasn’t ready, plus it wasn’t something that would come up in the near future, so she didn’t need to worry about that right now. She’d be lying to herself if she said she didn’t miss her. The way their fingers interlocked perfectly when they were together. The way the blonde would lean her head on Juliana’s shoulder, like it was a safe place for her. The way sometimes they didn’t even need to speak to each other and could just lay around in comfortable silence. Yeah, she really missed her. Suddenly, her train of thought was interrupted by her phone going silent. This was strange, since she was listening to music but when she looked down, Juliana saw that it was because of an incoming call, from none other than the blonde. Juliana panicked for a moment, but then decided to ignore the call.

She couldn’t deal with this right now. 


End file.
